This post was originally posted on Pastor Karl's old blog. You can find that blog here.
It is an insidious trap built by Satan himself.
He dangles temptation in front of us and fans the smouldering embers of our fallen nature with a sweet hypnotic voice. Like Eve of old, we see the forbidden fruit and it appears pleasant and good. The ancient serpent, having stoked our fallen nature to a brilliant blaze, whispers encouragement and so we partake...again. There is a moment of pleasure followed by searing guilt. The voice that was so sweetly encouraging us to sin becomes the voice of the accuser. "Guilty! Filthy! Failure! You claim to be a Christian but you are not! A Christian would never do that! It's too late...there will be no forgiveness this time!" It all sounds true. You feel so alone. So terribly horribly alone.
Somehow another voice begins to whisper that the pleasure of sin will make the loneliness more tolerable. Another forbidden fruit appears, more tantalising than the last. In your loneliness it seems like an oasis. And the cycle plunges you ever deeper and feelings of loneliness separated by fleeting moments of pleasure seem to become your way of life. The cycle is a trap all too familiar to the followers of Christ.
How do you move on?
Of course the best was to get out of any trap is to avoid it altogether, but I want to address those who are in the trap. You are in the quicksand. You feel like an athlete who is about to be cut from the team for making too many bad plays. Are you there? I've been there.
Let me share a secret with you: The ending of the story is glorious.
You think that story began with a decision to follow Christ and is ending with your failure. But the story didn't begin with you. It began with Him. He called you. He picked you. The One who sees the end from the beginning chose you to belong to him. Look at the ground, then look at the sky. He chose you before those things even existed. He knew all about your weaknesses and your failings and he chose you in spite of them. He wants you. He desires you. You feel lonely. The Lord of the Universe loves you. He overwhelmed your defences and you said yes to him. But he did the overwhelming. He knew what you had done and he wanted you.
He also knew that you would fail. More than once.
He called you anyway.
It really is incredible, isn't it?
The story is about him. You are involved, but the hero isn't you. It's him.
Paul tells us in the first chapter of Ephesians that God lavished on you the riches of his grace. Grace is something that you don't deserve, cannot earn, and can never repay. Where you sit right now, feeling alone and guilty, is the exact moment that you need to know his grace. He knows that. He understands that and in his wisdom he gives you his grace.
He isn't a miser who looks at you and tries to figure our just how much grace you need. "Let's see, yesterday he needed 14 millilitres of grace but today he really screwed up so I guess we'll have to give him 27." No, he is lavishing it on you. He is opening the floodgates of heaven and pouring his grace and forgiveness on you. You are standing under the Niagara Falls of his grace. Right now.
Before the foundation of the world he knew that this moment was coming, and he wants you to know know that your cries for forgiveness have been heard. You have been forgiven. John writes, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). His grace is poured out because of his wisdom and understanding. He knew and knows and he loved you and loves you still. His grace joyously flows over you abundantly.
And the greatness of the grace poured out on you causes angels to worship in awestruck wonder.
The story ends in a wedding. Remember that. You are the bride of Christ. He has chosen you. In spite of what you feel at the moment, you have an engagement ring on your finger. You are his. You are on your way to a glorious wedding: yours (Eph 1:13-14; 5:25-32). The story is not about how well you perform. It is about his grace. You love him. He knows that. And the story is about his love and his lavish grace. So put the focus back where it belongs: on Jesus.
So what next?
Here are some things that you can do: